So, as you know, I bought a house. And houses come with lawns. And my lawn sucks. There are two ways to guarantee yourself a crappy yard.
1. Renters
2. A vacant home
Lucky for me, I had both in my house before I bought it. Renters lived in it for 3 years and then it sat vacant for 3 1/2 months before I bought it. So, needless to say, it was a disaster. I wish I had a photo to prove how awful it was, but I had no desire to remember what it looked like (clearly I wasn't in blogger mentality or I would have taken a few for a before and after).
My parents have been awesome. They both have green thumbs. Their yard is immaculate. They even win "Yard of the Year" for their community. I'm not kidding. They're awesome.
So, naturally, I got them on board to help me with my yard. To this day I'm still unsure if they helped because they love me or because they were embarrassed to come over and be associated with my yard. Either way, I got their help.
Yesterday, my dad was at work and the hard work needed to be done. Carlo was at work too.
Sigh.
That meant that I had to do it by myself. Well, almost by myself.
My mom showed up with all of the lawn care essentials and then told me she had an errand to run and that she would "be back in a bit."
Great. I was on my own. At least for a while.
In case you've never done the yard, I learned the hard way for you:
1. Lawn mowers don't push themselves. In fact, they'll run you over when you're on a hill. I have a huge hill in my backyard. And mowing it is even harder than it looks. Don't go up and down the hill, go side to side. Cause when you go up, you'll feel a lot like Atlas, and when you go down, you'll be pulled down into the river below.
2. Mowing over sticker bushes only worsens the problem. No, the lawnmower doesn't suck them up and get rid of them. It simply spits them out. All over you. Like all over you. And picking them out of your pants, socks, shirt, and shoes definitely takes longer than it does to mow it down.
3. Edging sucks. That's really all there is to say about this.
4. Hedging bushes is like cutting hair. But I'm pretty sure that cutting hair is not near as dirty or sweaty or tiring. However, just like cutting hair, if you go too short, you have to take everything shorter. Just ask my bushes.
5. Electric hedgers aren't good for swatting wasps away from your face. I guess it would be okay if you weren't near your bushes. But I was. I probably looked like something out of a cartoon. And unfortunately, so does my poor shrub. I don't think it's too bad, but I'll let you be the judge.
6. The hottest part of the day is 4:00 PM. And that's the worst time to do yard work. Just ask me. I didn't think it would be too bad. But it was.
7. When the weeds are tall, mow with care. Like I said, the backyard is on the edge of the forest. And there isn't much "play" space. Besides, I have a deck, so who needs the small yard? Anyways, I'm pretty sure the last time that thing was mowed was when the house was built. It was so exciting to see the path the mower was creating in the jungle, that I forgot to look ahead. In case you were wondering, running over rocks (no matter how small) turns them into deadly weapons. I guess I should be grateful I made it out alive and in one piece. Oh yeah, and did you know that I had sprinkler heads in the backyard? Yeah, me neither.
8. When you're all done, you'll be glad you did it yourself. I don't want to sound like a sap, but there really is something gratifying about doing your own yard work. It's very satisfying. There's something about owning a home that makes you want to take pride in all aspects of it.
Overall, I don't think it looks too bad. And it can only get easier, right?
Come to think of it, I'm getting married in 6 months. Do you think the yard can wait until then? Cause then it's his job, right?!
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